Friday, May 20, 2005

A few topics to dicuss...

Aaron won tickets for us to see Kung Fu Hustle, it was awesome!!!! Loved it... go see it.


Next topic: Dear Lindsay Lohan,


WTF? Why are you making normal sized girls look so bad? You are a damn skeleton.
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You were chubby,
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so you should've just aimed for normal. You are obviously shoveling cocaine up your nose... and you've given up food entirely.
And you've got a partner....
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Whats up ana 1 and ana 2... you're last name is obviously Rexia.


Next Topic: The O.C.
Honestly.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Dear Britney,

What happened to you? I watched your premiere last night, and I am saddened. You are completely insane, obsessed with being loved, and jesus, girl, you've gotten fat!
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Kevin is a ghetto rat.... and you're on a downward spiral... You've lost your hair, Brit... and you showed it on national televison, please continue to have extensions if you're bald.. and go back to blonde. Oh, and please don't say on TV that your ideal man would be 'cool'.
Get a grip, honey.
Love,
Linds
ps. I hope you're pregnant because you were so bloated during the commentary and your boobs looked like over loaded water balloons.
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pps. You're obviously a demon
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That is some scary shit.
ppps. Please report to a trailer park immediately, put on your cutoffs with your pregnant stomach, crack open a PBR and light a Kool 100.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Mouse follow-up...

I heard him running around my house like he owned the place last night, so I officially put a hit out on him today. He should leave if he knows whats good for him.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Last night...

I got up to pee. Proceeded into the bathroom, all seemed well.....then....
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Little fucker came out from behind the scale, I screamed and he ran right over my feet. So I jumped up on top of the sink.... still screaming....


Picture the scene... Aaron bursts in, I'm kneeling on top of the sink, hugging the wall, pants around my ankles. Sounds funny, but actually not at all. Didn't sleep a wink... had dreams about mice scaling the wires of my clock and lamp, making their way onto my nightstand and into my bed.
Of course that picture is 100 times more evil and disease ridden looking than the actual mouse was... but if I keep seeing it as nasty germ spreading home invader I won't feel so bad about having it killed. (I added a red eye to make it all the more scary)

Friday, May 13, 2005

WTF?

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R.I.P
Why, O.C....WHY????

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

My Apt.

Those of you who have been here know..its tiny, but charming..... and completely unfinished. But I made progress... I got curtains...kitchen and living room. Thats right, yup. The living room curtians look like this....
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Like em? or are they too old lady? Whatever, I like em.

El Guapo Lizzo

So, somehow, El Guapo came up the other night..... I can't remember who I was with or who I was talking to or why we talked about it at all, but nonetheless, I re-realized the imporatant role he played in my life as the most permenant pet EVER.... so, here goes....
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For those of you who don't know.... El Guapo Lizzo (we'll abbreviate to EGL) was my pet for 10 years... a gift from Brian (man from my past life).... this picture does him no justice...because it doesn't show even a hint of the mint green eyeshadow he always wore.. such a fashionista.
EGL and I were together for so long...he lived in my room in the Jerse, my dorm room on Comm Ave (he hated that shit too, trust me), my apartment on Queensbury Street, apt on Marlborough, house on Hooker St (big ups), place in JP (a.k.a roommate hell), and my lovely apt now, for a short time. As you can tell, he was a cultured, well traveled lizard. But his life seemed meaningless, he'd mope around..stare longingly out through the walls of his glass house.... After a while, he didn't even climb the branches anymore, and seemed underwhelmed when a fresh batch of crickets was dropped in. I felt awful....
Aaron went on tour and I went to NJ...I was visiting my mom at her school... and it turns out the reptile man was coming that day. He's a guy who travels aroung with tons of lizards, snakes, etc.... showing them to kids at schools, camps, etc. I told him about the Guaps... he said he'd love to have him... so a few months later, EGL joined the traveling lizard circus. That night when Aaron called, I told him the news. His reaction... "Aw, I'm sorry honey, what happened?" As if I was using the traveling lizard circus as some kind of metaphor for going to lizard heaven. Yeah, no, he was actually making his dreams come true...
To follow-up, Big Guaps is livin it up...friends, GF/BF(..whichever he prefers), a booming career in the entertainment industry... I know I made the right choice.